Anonymex Music - I A.M. What I A.M.

Album: "I Can't Be Saved"

" I A.M. What I A.M."

The Debut Album

Jan 1, 2023

This album is the story of (me vs myself) vs the world; an introspective dialogue among my thoughts in a constant contradiction of the other, learning to embrace the duality of self. Stay connected with who you used to be, love yourself, and be authentic to yourself. I A.M. What I A.M.; a culmination of a bad impression of my past, present and future self.

This album was made for me, by me. At a time of internal turmoil. This album may have saved me. So I wanted to share it with others, to hopefully do the same.

1. Psycho Chant

(Jan 1, 2023)

Psycho Chant is a internal conflict introduction to the duality of personality realized in everyday situations. (Me vs myself) vs the rest of the world around me. Past vs Present. Kid vs Adult. Old vs New. Good vs Evil. A story of internal struggle.

2. Roam

(Oct 27, 2022)

Roam reminisces about growing up, missing home and what it meant to you, and guilting yourself for not going back often. Realizing that you will always have a home where you make it, and you should cherish the people close to you because they won't always be there. Sometimes we overly romanticize the past, disregard the present, and can't wait for the future. But the future is closer to death. And loneliness drives us mad.

3. Lo-Ki

(Jan 1, 2023)

This is a drastic change from the sad reminscent thoughts of Roam, emotions quickly turn dark when you feel alone for too long and are put in a chaotic environment and choosing seclusion as a coping mechanism to the anxieties of life, or shapeshifting your way through unnoticed; doing more damage than good to your life by causing you to question who you are, the people you associate with, and how a toxic mindset can cause you to be a danger to yourself and others.

4. You Know

(Aug 3, 2022)

The questioning of self value continues but this time about depictions of ideals, ideas and societal standards we all face but aren't always willing to speak on. Things we think about, but aren't easy to have conversations about. This is not a dive into my beliefs, but a dive into the questions. Question everything, and then question why you question it. Knowledge is freedom; information is power. And it would seem we are set up for failure.

IYKYK

5. Meddling

(May 20, 2022)

This song is about using drugs to cope with those internal and external struggles of life, getting older, and growing into this society. Where you're taught to just keep pushing through. You end up trying everything to make yourself feel better, to help get you through the day, then the week, and soon a month. But really the things that you did while you used drugs were the things making you feel better, not the drug use itself. However, it's hard to realize in the moment, and for me it was music. It's the only true place I can face that "Meddling" kid who believed he could be whatever he wanted to be.

6. Waste

(March 21, 2022)

This song is self-reflecting and self-motivating on considering releasing music into the world while playfully questioning society and my place in it. Music has consumed my life for 6+ years grinding away secluded in my own head and never planning on releasing, because I was making the music for myself as therapy. But we've all got something to say, if not to someone else, to your past trauma, to an old idea, or an old way of life and you can't let everything you say go to "Waste".

7. Run (Interlude)

(Jan 1, 2023)

This follows "Waste" as an internal dilemma to run or finally face yourself and your issues head on.

8. Mood Swang

(Jan 1, 2023)

Mood Swang is following that narrative about feeling mentally insane, atttempting to run away from a prison you've created within yourself, and feeling like everyone is out to get you, but it's yourself that is holding you back. You finally breakdown and are able to fight to quiet your dark thoughts after getting tired of being set in your old ways; change is upon us.

9. Help Me

(Jan 1, 2023)

This is a cry for help, that was unimaginable in the previous state of mind. Followed by a sense of entitlement I think we all have. After we realize the error of our ways in keeping everyone at a distance we expect others to jump to our aid if we finally do ask for it, when you've already created a rift in the relationship that makes that difficult. Now feeling like no one is around is a reality you have pushed upon yourself, but you must learn to save yourself independently cause sometimes theres no one there to help you.

10. Fell

(Aug 30, 2022)

With no help sitting at rock bottom, this is my most vulnerable song on the album, considering suicide when you feel you have no one left, Fell is meant as an expression of gratitude for the mental stability provided by my best friend, which continued even after our fall out. Fell is the realization that every day is the present. That instead of dwelling on what or who you don't have, you have to embrace life. Be grateful for the time you have on this earth. A perceived loss, is not always a detriment, you need to lose to grow, and she helped me grow. I am eternally grateful.

11. I A.M. What I A.M.

After hitting rock bottom, this outro concludes the album by being face to face with myself that I have been conflicting with throughout the album. My past vs my present. Kid vs adult. Old me vs new me. Is really just Me vs Me. but it's not Me vs Me, it's Me AND Me. Accepting my past, my scars, my monsters, and the fact that the future is fast approaching. Bet on yourself, embrace every aspect of who you are, both the good and the bad, the dark and the light and everything inbetween.

It ends with "I am what I am..." an outward attempt to be prideful of what I have become, with the other side of me still lurking calling it "Another bad impression"

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